Thursday, December 8, 2011

The STL: The real reasons it does actually suck


Saint Louis Really Does Suck….


Recently, there has been a lot of social media hype around Saint Louis regarding the various reasons that it either “sucks” or doesn’t. There is one large problem with all of this; Saint Louis does suck, but not for the many reasons I have heard announced about its shortcomings.

As mentioned briefly by Perlut in the recent Forbes article entitled Saint Louis Doesn’t Suck, the title of Saint Louis is very broad. Cities upon cities construct the beastly transformer known as the STL. Unlike many large major cities, many people who live in outlier areas call their home Saint Louis, even if it may not be geologically correct; and the city of Saint Louis condones this… even if this is one of the largest reasons that Saint Louis does actually suck.

Take a quick example of the above for instance; if every member of the ultra-violent, ultra-crappy city of Compton, CA decided they were going to claim rights to, say Santa Monica, CA, which, according to the all knowing super creature of Google is exactly 24.2 miles apart, the residents around and in Santa Monica would surely stand up and shout. This would be the case because, in 2010 alone, according to the yearly updated Uniform Crime Report issued by the Federal Bureau of Investigations, Compton had 1,327 acts of violent crime (regarded as Murder, Rape, Robbery, and Aggravated Assault) whereas Santa Monica had 392 of the same. Would you let your friend, out on bail for armed robbery, say he was from your quiet neighborhood? I think we both know that answer.

Now, take the city of Jennings, Mo. Have you ever heard of it? Most likely you have not and it is because it is yet another city that falls under the guise of Saint Louis that should not. Jennings, which falls under “North Saint Louis” (which I’d be willing to promise you have heard of), lies 9.8 miles from downtown Saint Louis. Only 10 miles of difference between Compton and Santa Monica, however, considers itself attached to the major city. Jennings, Mo, in 2010, had 243 acts of violent crime according to the UCR. Good news! Jennings isn’t as violent as it may seem! Wrong… Jennings only has a population of 14,423. Not worried about getting murdered? Then try the 1, 170 bouts of property crime that occurred. It is safe to say that Jennings sucks, but not necessarily downtown Saint Louis. By the way, I can do this with mostly every city in the infamous area of North Saint Louis.

So why then do the good people from the STL allow crappy cities surrounding the Saint Louis Metro area consider themselves Saint Louis for the purpose of media and pride? Why do we even recognize them as anything other than the independent cities they are? Two problems exist; 1. Many cities fall under the guise of Saint Louis County, therefore allowing residents to lay claim to the city on the sole reason of the title alone and 2. Quite simply, no leader in Saint Louis has failed to stop it. Simple right? Not so much.

So far, this has been a fight for Saint Louis. Really, my purpose with all of this above is to show people the incorrect ways they label cities. There are terrible cities across this nation, and claiming they belong to the largest city close to them is absurd. Before I continue, I do need to clarify something important; No…the UCR is not 100% accurate and No…I would never call the entire area of North Saint Louis crappy and disfigured…don’t shoot me.

Now, we have established that Saint Louis only really sucks for crime figures because city leaders allow other cities to lay some type of primitive right to be part of the tribe, thus bringing the whole city’s name down in the process. What about culture? Here is the real reason Saint Louis sucks.

Saint Louis, despite having some great sports teams, has no real culture. People hustle and bustle to and from the downtown area, but fail to actually put any stock into the nightlife. Sure, there are plenty of bars, some claiming to be “hipster”, but their very idea of the notion seems confused from an outsider looking in. When it comes down to it, it’s just a bar.

Saint Louis also has some tourist attractions, like the STL Zoo and Art Museum to name two. These are fun to those from Japan on a tour, and lame to anyone who has visited the city for longer than 20 minutes. Just be honest with yourself…

What about music? Maybe the STL is the new Fargo rock city?!? No and No. With one large venue (Verizon Wireless) one medium venue (The Pageant) and several other small venues that host a few good bands each year, it doesn’t look likely that the Lou will win any awards. In fact, many bands pass up STL to play at bigger cities with more culture like Chicago and Kansas City. Yes…I said it…Kansas City has more culture than Saint Louis.

So how do we fix STL? According to the previous author in Forbes, the plan comes down to showing the affordability of housing, good schools, local employment, and culture. Well…good idea, except housing is cheap in Jennings, the good schools are in Clayton, Mo (average housing value in 2009 was $591,000) (his example, not mine), and jobs are scarce. The author uses a great example of Saint Louis having the most plant scientists…Really? That will certainty help about 1% of the population.

To give the author credit, he hit every major point to what Saint Louis needs to do before it is considered a contender for anything. Building cheaper housing, improving school systems, spurring economic growth by getting large corporations to build and place headquarters in downtown = cultural growth. This equation is feasible and will require a good leader. Saint Louis doesn’t have that now, but hopefully soon it will.


Really, Saint Louis isn’t the worst place on earth, but it isn’t going to win any awards for nightlife soon. Don’t believe me, just drive downtown at 9PM. You will be treated by the occasional homeless person jaywalking and the empty streets of a desolate city that is desperate to change but unwilling to take the steps necessary to do so.

I am not afraid to die in STL. I am afraid to watch STL die.


9 comments:

  1. Funny article, yet not completely accurate. Most major metropolitan areas in the country consider their suburbs to be part of the city. Young professional families with three or more children would find it extremely difficult to raise said family in a studio loft apartment downtown. Heard of Plano, Texas? Probably not, but it's where a family with any considerable sort of wealth in Dallas lives. In a recent Forbes article when rating the top 100 places in the United States to live, Bridgeton and Wildwood were both on the list. General cheap cost of living, paired with an ten mile drive to downtown St. Louis, have given these areas a sense of self-worth, growth, and entitlement.

    When it comes to any sense of culture, you are grossly mis-informed it seems. St. Louis has one of the world's most notable Art Museum's and Zoo. Not the United States, but world. The SLAM yearly does exchanges with the Louvre and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. As we speak, said museum has Claude Monet's Water Lillies on display. Lest we forget about the St. Louis Science Center, which is one of few museums in the country to hold the coveted Body Worlds Exhibit. This exhibit they have held not once, but twice. We have yet to even mention the St. Louis Symphony Orchestra, which has been for years one of the most renowned symphonies in the world. So much so, that until his death a few years ago, Hans Vonk lead tours across North America, Europe, and Asia. Let us not forget about David Robertson, the current conductor who has brought in such soloist's as Itzhak Pearlman and Yo Yo Ma. Furthermore, not only are these areas of culture available to general public, but do to funding from the intellectual general populous of St. Louis, it is mostly all available for the amazing price of free.

    Their are plenty of bars with hustle and bustle in downtown St. Louis. However, drive down Washington Avenue, the Landing, Lafeyette Square or Ninth street to find them. Why do you not see many people hustling and bustling at 9 p.m.? Probably because when you drive around office buildings which occupy the majority of the downtown area, people have all gone home from work... or to the bars. Which can be seen in most major metropolitan cities. Also, have you ever been to the City Gardens at 9 p.m.? Maybe you should try it.

    Most bars in St. Louis also do not claim to be 'Hipster'. Sure, you can find them, but their is a bar for everyone. One of the attractions tourists find which St. Louis is most notable for is the fact that it is indeed a giant bar. Every drinker has a different neighborhood, may it be: Midtown, the Loop, the Landing, Lafeyette Square, the Grove, Tower Grove, Dogtown, the Hill, or Soulard. Much like Manhattan which is divided up into such areas as: the Villa, Downtown, Uptown, Times Square, Hell's Kitchen, Central Park, and the Upper East Side.

    Now, when it comes to bands touring, some acts decide on passing St. Louis. Most major bands will come, but your underground, punk, and indie bands will choose to pass on it. Not because they choose not to come to St. Louis, but if you look at general touring plans bands do a circle of the country. Coming up/down the east cost, through the North/South, up/down west coast, through the North/South. How does this affect smaller acts? They would have to sell out Not only St. Louis, but other major cities in the middle part of the country to make hitting St. Louis fiscally feasible. Not a knock on St. Louis and it's culture by any means. For when said small band decides to come to St. Louis, said show sells out in a matter of minutes.

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  2. There are more than just one large and one medium sized venue in St. Louis as well. The Savvis center, Busch Stadium, and the Edwards Jones dome have all been used as larger sized venues; The Opera House, and the Family Arena have both been used as medium sized venues. The largest concert in St. Louis history? Last year, U2 at Busch Stadium. But you're right, nobody comes to St. Louis to perform. At least I've never heard of U2.

    The real heart of the issue, and what is really wrong with the city is the issue of public transportation. St. Louis is the only major metropolitan city without a real state of public transportation. The lack of public transportation leads to a lack of pedestrian traffic. Which is why you won't see anyone walking around downtown at 9 p.m. They've all decided to drive.

    After I've said all this, I just want you to know, I think St. Louis compared to Chicago, New York, and San Francisco still blows.

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  3. Yay! I finally have a opportunity to blog war someone who does not give up easily at all. Let me first start by saying that possibly ragging on the STL zoo and famous Art Museum may not have been as accurate as I would have liked. One major flaw exists with your thinking that public transportation is the root cause of the lack of pedestrian traffic; the lack of pedestrian traffic equals the lack of good public transportation.

    Everything today is based upon simple economics; supply and demand that is. If the demand was high for public transportation, the supply would be high. To attempt to refute this logic would be to say that our government is not money driven; I think we both know this to be false. To better a culture in a area will drive inhabitants to want to actually exit their dwelling for a night out. BESIDES...who exactly to you believe will take public transportation to the many local watering holes in the STL? I know a great city named Jennings that I am sure would be happy to come "hang out".

    The real problem with STL...minus the major point above about allowing crummy neighborhoods with high crime rates to scare out good inhabitants, is also the lack of good, affordable housing in the downtown area. If you go to any major city, you will see middle class (I know..funny phrase) housing for recent graduates and singles to live. Saint Louis tried this with Blue City Scapes (Dont quote me, but its something like that). I am unsure of how exactly its doing, but I dont imagine well, since the last poster that I personally observed was on the side of a crumbling building.

    Basically, I still call for a complete push of the restart button for the great STL. This means a new political figure, police chief..etc. The time for change is near.

    People should not fear their government...governments should fear their people.

    Sorry...that was needed.

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  5. Irrefutably the demand for public transportation is at an all time high in St. Louis. It is a well known issue in both the suburbs and the slums. The problem is state funding. The state Missouri has no money to provide the city for said public transportation. As a matter of fact, with the dropping of some transportation routes and bus lines, the city of St. Louis saw unemployment downtown increase 38%. Coincidence? I think not. However, when said public transportation was reinstated, Unemployment dropped once again. Funny how shit like that works. My father, prime example, bitches about public transportation every day. He is well off and can easily afford to drive to downtown for work; yet, like many St. Louisans how choose to work downtown, they elect to take the train due to money saving capabilities. Why pay $100 a week to park downtown when you can pay $30 a month to take a train? Convenience, sure, but we're talking basic economics, my friend.

    Also, have you ever been drinking in a city with a public transportation system in place which works? I believe you have, as I was with you, once in this city known as Chicago. It's great when you don't have to worry about driving anywhere and can leave your inhibitions at the door. Yes, there were some homeless and lower class on said trains, but last time I checked, we were surrounded by middle and upper middle class as well. The 1 percent were probably on cabs or private jets, but that's another argument for another day.

    No, you are completely right when it comes to a restart in the political landscape of the STL. Funding and transportation are root issues. Major cities use said transportation not only to get into the city, but out as well.

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  6. I feel as though as I type some shit, google decides to omit words and phrases. Editing would be the easy way to fix said problem, but fuck it.


    Stay classy my friend.

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  7. St.louis region goverment analysis:Soylent green.

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